Bernard Shaw, Where Have You Gone?!

Posted by politicalpartypooper on May 13, 2010

It’s becoming nearly impossible for me to watch television news these days of any sort.  Where has Bernard Shaw gone?  And I don’t mean the man Bernard Shaw; I mean the Journalist Bernard Shaw.  Try as I might, I can’t see him.  I used to rely on him for news, religiously.  There was something about his demeanor and the steadiness of his voice, his willingness to ask razor-bladed questions without apologizing, and his refusal to waste time on bedazzled “news” that made him “trusted”, that made CNN the most trusted news source in the world.  With Shaw, there was none of the circus act, just news delivered in as respectful a manner as possible.

Where are the Bernard Shaw’s, where have they gone?  I’ve searched the United States over, and have not found even one who matches Shaw’s integrity and intelligence.  In fact, I am beginning to think that the only prerequisite to being a news anchor these days is a full head of hair.  Really, can you think of even one anchor who is balding?  Are Americans so shallow that we won’t watch a balding news anchor?

Bernard Shaw retired from CNN’s news desk in 2001, and the way Americans see and hear their news has not been the same since.  I thought maybe Brian Williams, until I actually heard him interviewed live, and then I realized that he is a face without a brain.  I was told Keith Olbermann had the right stuff, and then I watched him.  I realized immediately what Olbermann was; the liberal evil twin of Bill O’Reilly, Fox News’ fake Bernard Shaw.  I shook my head in disgust as I watched Olbermann get crazier and crazier, and then it hit me; there is no one.

There is no Bernard Shaw in news today.  I’ve seen them all.  From Olbermann and O’Reilly to Williams and Gibson, there is no Shaw.  Today, CNN thinks that Anderson Cooper (two last names) means serious news.  The only thing serious about Cooper is his hair.  But if Anderson isn’t your bag, perhaps Campbell Brown?  Not likely, unless you like a news show that’s more about the people Brown is interviewing than the topic she is interviewing them for.

If you ask CNN why they decided to Enquirize the daily news, they tell you that their studies indicated that Americans liked their news mixed with a “show”, entertainment, the circus.

It must be that, CNN, because back in the 90’s, no one could compete with you on cable TV for news coverage.  Today, you rank somewhere in the middle of the pack.  Today, you deliver the National Enquirer digitally, and you are getting your ass kicked by Fox News.  Yes, it must be that Americans like their news with some nitrous oxide and a full head of perfect hair.  I realize that Bernard Shaw also had a full head of hair, but hair wasn’t his strongest trait, like it is for today’s news anchors.

Oh Wolf Blitzer, come on, you can’t honestly think that integrity lies in a name, can you?  Besides asking some of the dumbest questions on television to no one in particular, the type of fare you deliver today could be produced on YouTube.

Charles Gibson, no one, and I mean no one, likes a know-it-all, especially one who doesn’t really know anything.  Keith..I don’t know what to tell you, except that maybe you should try anger management therapy.  Bill-O, go away.  That’s not a request, it’s an order.  Brian, no one is fooled.  No one.

I used to look forward to watching Bernard.  Now I just spend time flipping through the tabloids that are CNN, Fox, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, and NBC.  And vomiting.  I spend a lot of time vomiting.

Bernard, won’t you please come back?


6 Responses to “Bernard Shaw, Where Have You Gone?!”

  1. Ollie Green said

    Speaking of “know-it-alls”…

  2. fresh job said

    fresh job…

    […]Bernard Shaw, Where Have You Gone?! « POLITICAL PARTY POOPER[…]…

  3. jsfulton said

    I miss Bernard Shaw. Would like to convey my appreciation of his work.
    Keith Olbermann–well, I disagree with you there. I miss Keith Olbermann. Keith and me–I think we’re kind of kindred spirits. He’s the smartest sophomore in America. I like to think I’m vying for Numero Dos.

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