Posted by politicalpartypooper on March 30, 2009


Carbon Credits.

That’s Celebrity for, “I can spew as much filth into the atmosphere as I want, because I’m paying some Mutual Fund manager I’ve never met to hire a man he’s never met to plant a tree somewhere half-way around the globe.  I’m literally spewing my filth into the atmosphere today for a tree that might reduce co2 twenty years in the future.”

Al Gore wants you to turn off your damn lights!

Never mind that his mansions utilize twenty times more electricity than the average American home.  Please ignore the fuel guzzling personal jet; someday, it will be a hybrid or hot air balloon.  Please only pay attention to the FACT that Al Gore is offsetting his carbon usage by purchasing Carbon Offsets .   Somewhere, a tree is being planted every five minutes in Al Gore’s name, because Al Gore is TOTALLY addicted to spewing pollution into the atmosphere.

But don’t be fooled, trees are not realistic carbon offsets.  While they trap carbon as they are growing, they release carbon once dead and rotting.  Plant a tree if you like oxygen, or you just like the way they look.  But if you are planting trees to save the earth, you’re wasting your time and money.  They have, at best, an atmospheric neutral carbon footprint, but Al Gore tells us that by planting trees, or buying Carbon Offsets, he is making his carbon footprint neutral.

Wrong, Al.  I  am so sick of celebrities and former Vice Presidents telling us to reduce our fuel consumption.  No shit, Al.  You think?

The last thing I need is some idiot with a shit eating grin on his face telling me to turn off my lights while he sips his daiquiri in his electric hot tub, underneath his twenty spotlights while the A/C is running full blast inside, and his jet leaks fuel into the soil.

I don’t need to buy Carbon Offsets, Al.  I’m not stupid enough to live in a house that is way too big for me, or to own a corporate jet that seats fifty more people than I regularly fly around.  Nope, with me, it’s just good old common sense.  It’s not my fault that you’re an idiot.  Stop trying to make me feel guilty because you have some carbon credits that your company wants to screw me on. I have the carbon footprint of one person; not twenty, like you, Al.

For the common reader, my advice to you is, stay away from purchasing securities (like stocks and mutual funds) that invest in these Carbon Offsets and Credits.  The whole thing is a bubble.  There is literally nothing behind these investments except a few trees, solar panels, and windmills.  The rest is smoke and mirrors.  If you thought Credit Default Swaps were hard to understand, wait until Al Gore explains the inner workings of a mutual fund that buys Carbon Credits and trades them on the stock market.

The next Financial Bubble to burst will be green.

One last thing, Al.

If you purchase Carbon Offsets to neutralize your carbon footprint, it literally means that you are doing nothing to improve the environment.  At best, you are neutral.  That’s not the message your movie wanted us to get.


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