Posted by politicalpartypooper on January 8, 2009


As promised, these next few posts will attempt to provide some basic perspective toward bridging the divide between Left and Right in the United States of America.  Let’s start with the Republicans, the Right, since they’re so easy to explain.

From time to time, you might catch me attempting to sum up a rather large group or event in one sentence.  I do this not to belittle the importance, but rather to provide a simpler understanding of something that can seem too big to comprehend.  That’s how I have chosen to start in describing the two parties, or “factions”.

For the Right, it’s effective to say that Republicans are the party of personal responsibility.  In fact, it’s not just effective, it’s damn accurate.  The Right is called conservative, but a better description would be anal.  For you guys on the Left, try not to laugh; I’ve got good words for you, as well.  Personal Responsibility to a conservative can at once be both a guilt bomb and an encouragement.  It’s a guilt-bomb when you hear things like “you are where you are because you chose to be that way”. Ever hear a conservative say anything like that?  I’ll bet you have, numerous times.  At the very least, Right language will imply this, if not outright spit it at you.

Their anality (new word) comes into play once you realize just how deep is this Personal Responsibility creed, and where it comes from.  There are two things true about every Conservative.  First, there’s no such thing as “not being able to help it”.  In other words, gays weren’t born that way, they chose it.  Criminals shouldn’t be pitied, they should be punished harshly as a deterrent because they chose the life they lead.  It’s ALL about self-control with a conservative, and the stauncher one is, the harsher his language sounds.

This is important, pay attention!  A Conservative thinks everyone believes the way he does.  Furthermore, he does not utter his words in hate.  The second mark of every conservative is that they do not view their opponents with hate, but rather with pity or frustration, as their bible tells them to.  One of the saddest things I have watched in America is to watch the Left bash the Right as being HateSpeech mongers, Nazis, and intolerant.  From my Independent perch, I can assure you, nothing could be further from the truth.  I know many conservatives, and I don’t know of a one who would ever say, “Gays are going to hell” in a hateful manner, or feel any anger or hate toward that gay in his heart.  He would hope for that person, not hate him.

Let’s be rational here.  We are bound to have extremes on both sides, and the Right has their fair share, but extremists make up maybe one percent of either side.  The extremists hate.  Rick Warren is not an extremist.  Anne Coulter is an extremist.  Do you see the difference?

Conservatives are shaped by their Personal Responsibility mantra almost entirely.  It’s not something they’ll wear on a T-shirt.  It lingers beneath the surface, but it guides everything they do.  Here is a list that might help you determine how a Righty will respond to certain situations, and what is really underneath their skin.

1.  Conservatives are for business owners who create jobs, so that individuals can help themselves.

2. They are against welfare programs that create a culture of poverty.

3.  Conservatives believe in moral absolutes, but allow for grey areas in certain cases.

4.  They are generally for the death penalty. and if you were paying attention, you now know why.

5.  They do not hate gays, they just do not understand them.  They are not homophobic, no more than any heterosexual is.  I am not gay, and what gay men do with each other turns me off completely.  If that’s homophobic, then we can easily say that gay people are heterophobic. (new word)

6.  God is very real to many conservatives, but not all conservatives believe in God.  The Personal Responsibility gene doesn’t come from the Bible.  It comes from personality.  Thus, you can find an atheist, as a conservative, who refuses to believe that gay people didn’t choose their lifestyle.    Call me crazy, but I’ve met atheists who held to this view.

7.  Righties are not neanderthals.  Some of the greatest scientific discoveries have been made by people who held a deep faith in God.

8.  Conservatives aren’t “conservative” in personality, per se.  The word conservative is given to the Republican party, which mostly opposes liberal spending  and  over-reaching rule by the Government.

9.  Conservatives do not all believe that the earth was created seven thousand years ago.  I can’t tell you how far off the mark most Liberals are when they  label Conservatives as being unscientific or believing in fairy tales.  A thought for the wise amongst us.  If you weren’t present for the beginning, you don’t know shit.  All you have in fact are guesses based on perspective; no man has ever witnessed the only true perspective that would answer all of our questions.  I think, if we are going to use the word “know” we should probably redefine it to include “guesses”.  That’s the way most people use it anyway.

10.  A confessed conservative is not convincable against his deepest convictions.  Here is where anality rears its head.  We can have all the dialog we want about certain issues in our culture, but on some, we are just going to have to pleasantly disagree.  You are never going to convince a God-fearing conservative that you are not responsible for your lifestyle; don’t even try.  You’ll pound your head to death on a brick wall.

11.  Contrary to Liberal belief, a Righty is fully able to love his opponent just as they are.  That Righty may not agree with his opponent, but he takes his duty to love his neighbor seriously.  You should never mock that.  The extremists will always find something to hate you for, but that one percent has no  lasting voice amongst real conservatives.

12.  Conservatives believe in trickle down economics, again, for obvious reasons.  Providing economic help to business owners who in turn help individuals help themselves is the only type of economics a conservative understands.  Anything else they consider socialism.

13.  They are as passionate as the Left.

14.  They live in the same neighborhoods Liberals do, breathe the same air that Lefties do, have the same hopes and dreams for the future that Lefties do, and love their children and everyone else’s.

15.  The Conservative movement more closely matches the original  Constitution and Governing theory than does Liberal Doctrine.  But, in their wisdom, our Founders left room for changes, in the hope that changes would bring improvement.  This might be a contentious statement for some Liberals, but it’s a hard point to argue against.  The Founders didn’t include Welfare or Government sponsored economic stimulus packages…ever.

16.  The Right is aging.  When I was young, Reagan won landslides because the majority in America was sick of the Democratic party.  That base has either died, gotten old, or changed their minds.  The same cycle has repeated itself, this time in the Democrats favor.

17.  Conservatives are people, not politicians.  Politicians are something different altogether.  Do not confuse your neighbor the conservative with George W Bush or Dick Cheney.  It’s a big, big mistake.

18.  Conservatives believe strongly in Freedom of Speech, in fact, in all of our basic freedoms.  I think it would surprise many a Liberal to find out that most conservatives believe the Left wants to stifle those rights.  Included in this are, as previously mentioned, Freedom of Speech, the right to bear arms, and freedom of religion.  The Right does not trust the Left to be good stewards of America’s freedom.

19.  The Right believes the Left has an inferiority complex.

20.  The Right believes the Left is generally younger, and less responsible.

I hope that helped you in your perspective.  I’ll come back with the Left in short order.  Just remember, nearly everything a Righty says has a foundation of personal responsibility supporting it.  View it this way; They were born that way.



  1. willpen said

    Waiting patiently for the next installment.

  2. Kevin said

    That cartoon is absolutely priceless!

  3. Coyote said

    Not bad. Not perfect but I’ll (as a neanderthal conservative) will give you kudos for making a yoemans effort at trying to articulate the conservative.

    Although you will find “some” folks on the right side who do match the “extremes” you attempt to wash away and as conservatives we (I try from time to time) need to respond to such extremes.

    Unfortunately as a conservative blogger I have been hit with all the stereotypes you mention above.

    As far as the left goes (and I can’t wait to see your articulation (new word?) on that front.), in short, there are the Democrats and the moonbats.

    The Democrats, though we disagree on policy, are reasonable folks who reasonably disagree. Whereas the moonbats are…well… I created a short list of moonbat rules in order to flesh that crew out.

    As I said above we have our version of moonbats as well. I just don’t know what the new contemporary term for them is.

    yip yip

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: