KATIE COURIC INTERVIEWED ME, TOO!
Posted by politicalpartypooper on October 6, 2008
Couric: Political Party Pooper, is it okay if I call you PPP?
PPP: Of course, Katie…may I call you Katie?
Couric: No you may not.
PPP: What should I call you, then?
Couric: I’m the one asking the questions here. I ask, you answer, got it?
PPP: Could you say that again?
Couric: What part of ‘I ask the questions’ did you not understand?
PPP: The part where you looked like you were about to throw a temper tantrum.
Couric: We’ll be editing that answer. Now, PPP, can you tell me the HR numbers for the last bill our congress passed that you disagreed with?
Couric: Okay, there seems to be a communication problem here. You keep trying to ask the questions, and I keep telling you that you don’t get to ask questions. Why is that?
PPP: It’s likely due to the fact that you ask stupid questions. But let me expand upon that answer. I’m a maverick.
Couric (interupting): ah, ah, ah…no expanding answers are allowed. And yes, your last anwer will be edited out.
PPP: Will there be any part of this interview not edited out?
Couric: Yes, the parts that make you look stupid. Dammit! Didn’t I tell you I ask the questions? Now for the last time, what’s the seventeenth word in House Resolution number 1736?
PPP: I wasn’t aware you had asked that question a first time. But I’ll answer; I don’t know. Is there a an HR 1736?
Couric: That last part of your answer will make the final cut. However, viewers will hear me ask “what is your plan to save the American economy” just before they hear your answer. Then, your last question is not ackowledged.
PPP: Hey! I have a plan to save the American Economy!
Couric: No you don’t.
PPP: Yes, I do!
Couric: It doesn’t matter, I make the decisions as to what makes the news and what doesn’t, understand?
PPP: All too well.
Couric: What’s that supposed to mean?
PPP: You, dear lady, are a Nazi. Will that make the final edit?
Couric: What do you think?
PPP: I think it should.
Couric: Then it won’t. Mr PPP, can you tell me on what basis you are qualified to write your blog, or any blog for that matter?
PPP: On the basis that’s it’s my blog, and I get to do what I want on my blog.
Couric: That’s hardly an answer, Mr. PPP. Really, I’m just curious. What is your authority?
PPP: I just told you, dumbass.
Couric: That will definitely be edited out.
PPP: Not on my blog, it won’t be.
Couric: Oh, yes it will! Or I’ll sue you for slander!
PPP: That’s okay, I don’t have any money anyway, so your lawsuit would be fruitless and frivolous.
Couric: Nevertheless, consider yourself sued.
PPP: So considered. Consider yourself an idiot.
Couric: I already have, and the answer is no.
PPP: No what?
Couric: I ask the questions here.
PPP: Could that be because you really don’t know?
Couric: I’m not answering that question, I’m not even going to acknowledge that you asked a question…because…
PPP: ‘I ask the questions here’?
Couric: Wrong! I ask the questions here!
PPP: That’s what I said.
Couric: No, that’s not what you said. You said, “I ask the questions here”?
PPP: Well, when you put it like that.
Couric: I put it EXACTLY like that.
PPP: You really are stuck on yourself, aren’t you?
Couric: Again, not acknowledging your question
PPP: You just did.
Couric: No, I didn’t.
PPP: If you say so:
Couric: I say so.
PPP: This interview is over with.
Couric: No, it isn’t. I say when we’re done, and we are not done! You’ll know when we’re done, when I say, “That’s a wrap”. (she shields one side of her face and whispers…) “I’ve always wanted to say that.”
PPP: Me too. Maybe we’re more alike than you think?
Couric: Hardly. I went to school for journalism. I hang out with the most elite of democrats. Who do you hang out with?
PPP: Oh… people.
Couric: Like who?
PPP: All of them, you know, people everywhere.
Couric: Can you give me a specific name? I’m curious. Just give me a specific name of one person you hang out with.
PPP: Will you promise not to use their name in your “edited” clips?
Couric: No, I will not.
PPP: Then my answer stays the same
Couric: Come on. Just give me one specific name. Can’t you do that for me?
PPP: I’m hanging out with you right now. Good enough?
Couric: Make sure you guys cut his last answer from the show. We don’t want it looking like he actually had an answer.
PPP: Katie, there’s no one here. Who are you talking to?
Couric: Your question is not acknowledged.
PPP: Hello! Katie! Are you really in there? Is there anyone inside? Are you some sort of robot?
Couric: (smoke billowing form her ears) How dare you accuse me of being a robot! What a sexist thing to say! Consider yourself sued!
PPP: Will that come under the first lawsuit? Or will you waste the court’s time twice?
Couric: Your question is not acknowledged.
PPP: Say, I have this feature on my blog where I interview media journalists. Would you like to be one of my subjects?
Couric: Are you seriously still trying to ask me questions? That’s a wrap!
PPP: Are we done?
Couric: We ar SO done!
PPP: Thank you. It was a…a…a real…pleasure?
Couric: Was that another question?!
Note: Do I really have to disclaim that I just made all of this up? Or do you know it already?